Here’s a lesson learned in life #N:
Social life and school are like a balance scale. Whenever one goes up, the other one has to go down. And apparently I’ve been doing extremely well in school past few weeks.
Thank God that my family life is still very stable. In fact, that’s the only thing right now that makes me happy and gives me hope. I really do believe that my mother is the only person that fully understands me. In fact, she is the greatest mother ever. I see all these movies and books and even people how kids have problems with their parents and sometimes it’s so hard to understand because my parents are perfect. Of course, they do make mistakes, but we’re all human and those mistakes never reached a point where that would bother me in my life.
My mom always lets me stay out as long as I want (well until midnight it’s never a problem). None of my friends’ parents let that. Of course, that doesn’t mean that I do stay out that late, I barely do, but it’s good always knowing that I have freedom to do that. I just don’t abuse it. And does that mean that my mom doesn’t care about me? Does that mean that when I do stay out till midnight or later, she doesn’t worry about me? I know how worried she gets and how that almost breaks her heart, but she realizes that she can’t always control me and has to let me take my own risks.
And is that really bad? As modest as I am, I’d say that she’s pretty proud of who I am at this point in life and I’m really happy about myself too. I have all the freedom and privacy that I want, and yet I’ve learned how not to abuse it. I think that’s the greatest result of parenting that anyone could get.
I realized something recently though. Not too long ago, my mother told me a story about how she kept a diary when she was my age. She was very naive so she didn’t think to hide it. One day though, her mother somehow read it, and when they had an argument, she somehow mentioned reading her diary. My mom said that she got so upset about it that even to this day that one action makes her look at her mother in a different way. And the thing is, she didn’t write anything bad. After all, what can a 15-year-old keep in her diary? And she said that it had such an effect on her that she swore to herself to never ever invade her kids’ privacy. I really really understand her. Heh, the flaws of the parents have been corrected in their children. It won’t rain frogs tonight (Magnolia *cough cough*).
My dad, on the other hand, is the greatest person that ever lived. Just like it’s supposed to be in society, he is my role model. I was just thinking about him for a while and realized how great of a person he is. I don’t even know where to start… He’s the only person that I can jam with perfectly. He actually feels the music when he plays it, which makes it so much easier. In fact, he made me realize that learning notes is important, but you can’t play guitar by notes. Rock N’ Roll is something that you have to feel.
He’s also the only person I know that reads. I mean like actually reads books. Heh, I remember back in Vilnius he had the entire works of Shakspeare, Nietzsche, Dostoevsky, Gogol, etc. Instead of being some hardcore Yankee fan or a football addict, he found enlightenment in literature like a civilized person. In his teenage years, he didn’t do drugs or get wasted every night. He played the guitar. He got married at 28, which gave him good 10-12 years to party his ass off, and after that he got a stable marriage with a great woman. He basically put his life together perfectly. Right now, he can read literature until the end of his life and find joy in that. Tell me he’s not the most wise person ever.
So yes, this post turned out to be a big Thanks Giving (with a whole lot of judgement too), which went to my parents, although I’m sure they won’t see this because they don’t read my blog. But I’m also sure that they know how much I appreciate for making me who I am right now, and even though I’m stuck in Brooklyn where I’m about to go insane, I’m sure they know that they’re the only thing that keep me together. Thank You!
And I also realized one thing from a comment that some fellow spymacer left me in some previous entry. I’ve finally manager to overcome all that pressure that people (teenagers especially) put on you when choosing to spend time with your family over friends. Well one day, and that day will come sooner or later, family members will have to pass away and you will have so much regret over not spending enough time with them. Only then most people realize how much they truly needed their parents and how noone will be there to ever replace them. Well I’m only glad that I realized it in time.
Peace
